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Death Monkeys ravage downtown Austin!

In a frightening display of laughable intensity, a roving tribe of Death Monkeys invaded Sixth Street last Thursday. Dressed in fur, fez caps, and armed with organ grinders, these mischievous little buggers marched through sixth street, biting the knees of every person they could find. Said one bystander “I didn’t know whether or not to laugh or scream. The carnage was minimal, but the ferocity was visceral and intense. The cacophonous sound of the organ grinders, howling monkeys, and pained screams of the victims still haunts me.” Other than some minor bite wounds, a few upset musicians, and a very confused public, everything appears to be back to normal. The monkeys disappeared as quickly as they arrived and have not been seen since….

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